IF by Ruyard Kipling

The wisest words I can offer for any difficult situation that threatens to bring you down are from Ruyard Kipling... obviously written for a male, but I feel like all but the last line can apply to anyone.. b/c sometimes things are just so unfair & uncalled for, and even if you break down & sob for a bit, in the end you just can't let it get to you:


IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
'Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

What the...

Look, I'm into futuristic technology as much as the next person, and considerably less than actual scientists and tech geeks. I'm always excited to read about new medical procedures and technology that either solve an issue or lengthen the life of a anatomical structure. Likewise, I find it fascinating to read about other gadgets that are being created either to push the boundaries of science or for practical use. Then there are the developement that make you go... Why? Why would you spend time & money on something like that? Why do you feel we actually need something so high tech for something so basic? Here's today example from the weather channel website: Tornado proof houses

http://www.weather.com/home-garden/tornado-proof-home-could-retreat-underground-20130712

I've lived in Kansas since the age of 10, half of which was spent in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere Tornado Alley. Severe storms scared the shit out of me. I was fully aware that a tornado could develop & wipe out our little community. Only it didn't. There were only a couple of times there was one nearby, and it was out by a farm place on the plains. In fact, my 62 yr old dad has lived in rural Kansas most of his life, and has never even seen a tornado. This isn't to say there isn't a risk, or that some areas are more likely to get hit several times, b/c everyone knows there always will be. But do we really need a house that is "aware of its surroundings" that can retreat underground at the first sign of a tornado? The article says it the project was started as an alternative to mobile homes in at risk areas. You think someone who has invested in one of the lowest cost living accomodations is going to be your top customer for something that high-tech? Probably the oldest settler home building strategies for energy efficiency & weatherproofing is just the opposite of this proposal, and utilizies geography. Earthen/dugout houses. Not too difficult. Probably a lot cheaper to deal with than a mechanical house, especially if you're going to be digging a hole anyway for it to reatreat into. I've never really understood why there are mobile home courts on flat plains with no geographical protection in the first place. That's always seemed like a no-brainer to me, right? I've also been confused at the amount of houses in rural kansas/oklahoma that don't have basements. Its just common sense. The retirement house my grandparents built across from their main farm was built into a hill, and I never once felt in danger during a severe storm... b/c we were IN the ground. So maybe instead of spending who knows how many millions of dollars on something that will inevitably malfunction, why not just rely on nature for protection from nature? Its how the world was meant to work. Instead of trailer parks, just dig out some holes in the side of a hill & call it a cave community. BAM.

Pure Expression

Airborne Toxic Event - The Book of Love (Magnetic Fields cover)

White on white

Judge me if you'd like, but I still love this album. You wouldn't believe the feeling I had flying into Baltimore a few years ago when I discovered it was raining... b/c its raining in Baltimore, baby.

Heart Strings

While our family was out at dinner tonight, my father had several calls during which he was informed his eldest brother had unexpectedly passed away. My aunt had first called my mom with the final report, so when his younger brother called, he got up from the table to stand by the window in the restaurant. My sister-in-law told my soon-to-be 6 yr old niece that grandpa's brother had died. Without being told, without saying a word, she got up and went over to where he was standing with his phone, and put her arms around him. She continued to stand with him until he was finished with the call, and as we all gathered our things, she stayed behind & walked out with him. That simple, unabashed gesture of comfort and strength was one of the most awe-inspiring things I've witnessed in awhile. If only we all had the assurance to reach out and do what is needed, without fear of rejection or reproach.

Clawing The Way

I won't pretend that I'm not addicted to social networks. I don't have an extremely fascinating or fulfilling life that takes up my time & interest enough to avoid the mindless behavior of wondering what everyone else is doing. You've read enough philosophical rants about how social networking has ruined the individual identity; how it sucks the life out of creativy and self confidence, or hinders the process of self reflection. I won't necessarily rehash all of that. However, I will say that most of what is written on social networks is basically coming from a need for attention - because that's how the human mind functions. We have a need for communication, a need for recognition, & a need for validation. So we use facebook to write about our dull lifes, and our friends "like" it b/c they're lives are just as boring & they can relate. Or we use twitter as an outlet for our random stream of thought, b/c whether someone likes it or not, we feel like we're getting our notes on life out there. We're like authors who can't focus enough to create an actual piece of literature, just a lot of quotes that no one will remember. Its sad to step back and view it all like this, but at the same time, it gives us a small sense that we're not alone. That there are other people out there sitting at home, lonely & wondering what we're doing.

The only problem with that is we seem to have lost the art of communication. How many status updates have you actually commented on recently? If you see that a girl/guy you like is also lonely or looking for something to do, did you ever respond? Of course not. You're not going to say anything. You may think about it, but you're not going to open a dialogue. That would be risky. Someone might ridicule you or think you're a moron. You might forced to look at another point of view. Or what if you comment & no one responds? Honestly, I'm not sure people even know how to have a real discussion anymore. Its an odd thing - we all seem to be sharing these little tidbits so that we can connect with others just like us, but in reality, no one is willing to come out and SAY something. We all just sit online on facebook messanger, content that another person is also at home, trying to will them to talk to us.

I was on a very short solo roadtrip a few weeks ago, and there were many times when I did not have reception. I was forced to return my natural way of having to entertain myself, solve my own problems, and take in the world around me. For those 3 days, it was so freeing. I remembered who I was. I felt a connection to those traveling around me, and just settled into the calm of the road. And while I was "lost" in the SE backhills of Wyoming for a good 2hrs, I had a moment or two of panick at the thought of ranch life so far from civilization, but in the end I only wanted to set off into those wide open hills on foot or on horseback. When I returned home, reality hit hard; because life is too short to be stuck in this environment where we don't even remember LIFE, only what we read on status updates over the past week. Life is too short to be stuck in a job that bores you to the point that you miss whole weeks and month in the stupor of cubicle life, living life vicariously through people who are better at documenting their lives. Moreover, life is too short to have virtual connections be the source of our social interactions.

Everyone has one specific dream that they go to when they think about where they want to end up - where they belong. Its the scenario in your mind which took root at some point when you were developing that you know in your heart it is where you want to be. If you had one choice despite anything that is going on right now, you can close your eyes & see it. This is not where I wanted to be. This is not who I am. And saying that I will get there in another year or two, or a few decades - that is not working for me. If you ever use the term YOLO, take a second to think about what it means. Then get off your ass, off your computer, talk to the pretty girl/guy you've been lurking who you know in your heart might understand you, or get the hell out of town & remember what living means. Life is too short to not be taking radical chances.

Nothing Feels Good

-"How nothing feels so much like a language nothing ever gets finished, like i ninety-foreign highways and cities, listening to silence, where all the useless songs in america are haunting me, so in the long thigh of the late sunlight, i come back from the years."-


The Promise Ring
(album insert)