Witness Meets the Trenches

One of those bizarre dreams...

I was at some kind of event in a school gym, and was helping to take care of some kids. I told one of the little boys to come sit with me. He didn't seem to want to be around us, and away from his dad, but I told him he should stay close, and he finally came over. After awhile we decided to get up and walk around. We went into this hallway off the side of the gym, and ran into a small group of men in the middle of an argument. One of them was the boy's dad, and the boy tried to break away to run to him. I realized they were arguing over some kind of illegal deal, and I grabbed the boy to keep him from interrupting. They'd seen us though, and one of them pulled a gun on us. I pulled the boy close to me, and moved him around behind me. I was thinking about how those people in movies kick the gun out of the bad guy's hand, and would that really work? Just then the boys dad pulled a gun on the first guy, and we started to back away. They argued a bit more, the first guy made a sudden move, and the dad ended up shooting him. There was a lot of blood, and I knew he was dead. I grabbed the boy and started to run.

Somehow we ended up in a small group of people from the event, who had all witnessed a part of the murder. We were being taken somewhere safe and hidden away from the people looking for us. I knew the boy's father would come after us, and I wanted to keep the boy far away from him, to keep him from harm and also from finding out what kind of person he was. The man who seemed to be in charge was leading us through a forest and down into a big field where there were trenches cut out, but made so they weren't visible to someone scanning the land. We traveled toward the very end of one, where we realized there were enclosed security bunk rooms down deep inside. The 4 of us girls were in the first half, and the 4 guys were in the second. The other girls had single cots or bunks, but there was one bed that they gave to me, so the boy could rest. We were bored a lot, and I tried to keep the boy entertained. He was chubby and cute, and had become attached to me.

After what seemed to be a long time, there hadn't been any word from the outside. We were running low on food, and the guys decided they wanted to venture out to find something. Other people stationed further down in the trenches often moved along the corridors outside the bunk rooms, and gathered to talk for entertainment, but we had tried to stay hidden, b/c we didn't know who we could trust. I didn't want them to go out. It wasn't safe for them, and it certainly wasn't safe to risk anyone finding out where the boy was. I motioned over to the bed where he was curled up asleep. They said I was being ridiculous and that they'd be careful, and went out. Awhile later when a couple of them had returned, we heard someone approaching. It was from the end of the trench where no one else lived, so we were very nervous that a stranger had found us. I had the boy hide in a cupboard in the corner of our room, and I stood flat against the wall, out of sight. Someone banged on the door on the guy's end, and we didn't recognize the voice. They demanded to be let in, and one of the guys finally tried to nonchalantly cooperate. There were 2 strangers and they began roughly searching the rooms. Before they came into ours, I grabbed the boy and slipped out our door. We started running down the trench to the end, and climbed out, hoping to find the man who brought us there.

The rest is a bit foggy, involving a jeep and a beach house that some of our group was using to hide out in. The dad finally found us, and while fighting him below, and finally killing him, I thought the boy had been thrown from the balcony. I ran over, absolutely devastated thinking MY boy was dead, but realized it was a decoy, and ran up the stairs sobbing with joy that he was alive. At that point we noticed the dad struggle to his feet, and I grabbed the boy and jumped in the jeep with 2 of the guys from my group. We sped off, trying to get away from the dad, and back to our trenches where the man in charge was waiting to help.

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Far Away, Close in Heart (playlist)

The Window is the Door - Maritime
Here I dreamt I was an Architect - The Decemberists
Misery is a Butterfly - Blonde Redhead
The Song Was Right - Old Canes
Girls of Wild Strawberries - Guided by Voices
Jesus, Etc. - Wilco
On the Surface - Civil Twilight
The Falling Kind - Vedera
Don't Think Twice, Its All Right - Bob Dylan
Landlocked Blues - Bright Eyes
Feeling the Pull - The Swell Season
Conversation 16 - The National
I Wonder - Chris Isaak
What Am I to You? - Norah Jones

Open your Mind

I think Rob Delaney is one funny guy. I can honestly say that at least one, if not many, of his tweets make my day. If he ever comes to your town, you should probably make it your business to go see his show. That being said, he recently reposted this link to an old blog post of his concerning depression. Its the kind of brutal honesty people sometimes need to hear. Maybe you've felt like this, or are a skeptic and know someone who "claims" to have felt like this. In any case, its real and its a common problem, so wake up and deal with it.

On Depression & Getting Help by Rob Delaney

Nocturne

"It is dreadful when something weighs on your mind, not to have a soul to unburden yourself to. You know what I mean. I tell my piano the things I used to tell you." - Frederic Chopin

 

Dream a little Dream

I'm going to say this right now. This could get weird. So you've been warned... but its something I wonder about, and have recently read more theories (though rather wild) on the subject, so I wanted to elaborate. If you are so inclined to add your two cents (besides, "you're crazy, shut up,) I welcome you to do so!

Dreams. Mine are.. well, odd. vivid. elaborate. Entire story lines with details, characters, etc. An entire world on the other side. I don't have reoccurring dreams, but sequels. I know where places are in reference to other landmarks in my dream and can remember other events that have happened while dreaming. I realize this isn't any extremely unique phenomenon, as I've talked to, and read about, many others who experience this, but it can still be somewhat.. disturbing.

Now. Simple explanation would be this: overactive imagination and conscious thought. Right? Well, that's what I would chalk it up to mostly. Especially when I can tie certain themes to issues I face in my waking life. And with the memory of the dream world and lucid thought, well apparently some part of the brain is working overtime for some reason or another.

HOWEVER, what about all the crazy plot lines, the diverse locations, the vivid journeys? Creativity? Moreover how does anyone explain this: There have been a few times now when I have visited a place I had never been before, and have come across a scene, building, etc. straight out of a dream I'd had months, even years earlier. I've had to stop and stare b/c it was stronger than typical deja vu. I had seen it only in a specific dream. The most recent was driving through a small mining town in Central Pennsylvania. I've never been to Pennsylvania, but I could remember the entire dream and could see it exactly as it was in front of me. So how is that possible? Had I seen something similar and pieced it into my dream and was remembering what I thought I had dreamed? That might be a rational explanation.

 So here is the irrational, or bizarre, explanation: String Theory. Parallel universes. Some people seem to think we can link into them through our dream-state. INSANE, right?? I feel a little silly even typing it, b/c it seems so science fiction, and not at all possible. But what if its true?? (this is where it gets weird, btw.. and I am in no way standing by these ideas, I'm just musing.) What if all those adventures and journeys in strange lands are actually IN strange lands? What if that is actually a different, but parallel world that a similar self is experiencing? And what if the places I see in my waking world that I've never visited are similar places in that parallel universe that I visited in my dreams? HMM?? (another less wacky, but still somewhat supernatural explanation would be that I'm picking up on things which those close to me have seen.)
And not to get all "Scott Pilgrim" here, but what about meeting someone in "reality" that I'd seen in a dream a long time ago, but have never known before. There is no way I could possibly have ever met them, yet the familiarity and certainty felt is uncanny. Did I meet them in a parallel universe through my dream so long ago? And if so, do they have any recollection of that experience, or feel my familiarity when we met, as well?? This is MADNESS!!

Ok, I believe I'm done with my lunatic post for today. I'd just like to reiterate that I in no way strongly believe any of this, but also have no explanation for the more bizarre ends of the situation. For the most part, I believe dreams are a manifestation of your conscious thought and imagination. I just don't know what to do with the rest.

FILM!

 (originally posted in the blog at www.myspace.com/chiqua)

The first time I realized the power of a bizarre movie plot was when I saw Heathers one New Year's Eve in high school. It was darkly humorous, wicked, and to say the least, bizarre. But I loved it. It was exciting. It was different.  However, it wasn't until I was in college, staying in a spare loft with my cousin over Thanksgiving break, that I first understood what really caught my attention in the film world. We were flipping around channels and settled on TCM. We'd never heard of it or seen it, but Inside Daisy Clover was just beginning. When it came to the scene where Christopher Plummer's character picks up Natalie Wood like a child, but then passionately kisses her, we both looked at each other and exclaimed, "what the hell??" And that's when the spark was born. I LOVE those points in a film where the story line takes a bizarre twist and you're left wondering "what in the hell just happened?" Maybe my imagination is too complicated and regular boring movies are too predictable, but I just adore those films that take unmarked turns and start you wondering about every other detail of the plot. Maybe its b/c life is more like that. Bizarrely cruel in sudden twists that you couldn't see coming. Or maybe life isn't like that at all, and for a writer to come up with such a plotline is commendable to their imagination. When I think about it though, I wonder if all of those scenes that make me go "YES!" are what normal human beings could only dream of doing, if their bland life of modesty and contentment didn't hold them back.

For instance, at the end of Daisy Clover, she humorously cannot seem to kill herself, so she turns on the gas line, lights a match, and walks away from her beach house smiling as it goes up in flames. Those are the impulses people have that are suppressed by reality and social codes! When it really comes down to the line, these actions are what characters are forced to do for the good of their sanity. Its brilliant! I absolutely love it! Its the writer getting into the characters head and actually making possible that which would be socially or morally unacceptable. Its a sketch of the individuals psychosis coming to life, creating their own niche, separating them from any other average Jane. Jessica said to me the other day, "remember that film Le Divorce? And in the end it basically taught us it was ok to shoot someone b/c it would work out in the end? what hell was up with that movie?" I know! It was so bizarre. But God knows I have to give kudos to the writer, b/c even if the movie was terrible, the plot twists were awesome :0)